As most of us do at the beginning of the year, I gave myself a little evaluation to see how I was doing. In my own mind of course. Looking at things I though I was doing pretty good. I'm not the most organized person but everything gets paid on time and I try to make sure everyone gets fed on time too. But after three different doctor visits and at each one having my weight mentioned, and NOT in a good way, I have to admit to spending a couple weeks down in the dumps and doing a lot more reevaluating. I'm not a huge one for Life Changing New Years Resolutions so any thoughts of that just seemed trite. But over the last few weeks I have come to realize a few things.
First of those is this; What kind of example am I setting for my kids. Sure I got to the gym, maybe more than the average person. But what does it say to them if they see me going to the gym and then pounding a whole pan of Brownies on the weekend or because "I had a bad day". If they are going to beat the rising rates of obesity and all the horrible things that those numbers bring with them then I need to the the first on in line helping them to make better choices than those around them. And how the heck and I going to do that if I'm sneaking half a bag of Hershey's Kisses while Q is napping?! It does not take a Ph.D. to figure out that nothing really good can come out of those decisions.
Second is this; Am I really being good to my self by saying, I deserve to eat this bowl of Ice Cream after I workout, or after I have a bad day, etc. (insert your own justification here). In reality I would be being better to myself if I decided to eat a great salad or a really good (low sugar) smoothie after a workout. If I really valued my self, and the work that I put in at the gym, I should be filling my body with healthier food and having the goodies only occasionally. And Tuesday night after the kids go to bed would NOT count as an Occasion.
Lastly is this, the saddest and potentially most depressing point; My biology seems to be against me. To spite all of my prayer and hopes to be naturally thin, it has finally occurred to me that I am not a Naturally Thin person. Not that I don't like my curves, I do, but there is a line in my mind between the curves I think I have and the extra junk in the trunk that seems to be my reality at the moment. I think I might have been hovering at that line a bit too long. This realization had thrown into relief a truth that I always thought I understood but now I'm feeling that I really get it. In order to get what one wants, sacrifices need to be made.
So I'm planning a 100 Day overhaul. I've done diets before and been successful but always gone back to where I was (although both previous times there was a pregnancy involved). In doing my research I realized that I need to give up the sugars, the starches and most of the carbs that I love so dearly. I realized that they don't love me back, they love to make my backside fat. It's like the definition of a frenemy.
It has finally occurred to me that I need to become one of those "healthy people", you know, they people you see in the store buying half the produce section, those people you want to ask if they've ever, EVER had a cheeseburger. I need to become one of those people.
So it's with these facts in mind that I bid good bye to the refined sugars, carbs and bad fats that have conspired to ruin my health. Like the bitchy, back-stabbing, gossiping "friend", we can meet up once in a while to check it, but you are NOT going to be a daily part of my life anymore.
I've decided I'm just too good for you.